Cultural Toddlerhood

Kasto cha? ... Tapaiko nom ke ho? -

(How are you?... What is your name?)

    My first phrases to learn in Nepali.  And I was saying it wrong for at least a month before I had my first official Nepali lesson and came to understand the correct grammar.  My first few days in Nepal, I went to visit one of the many projects that Iris Nepal is involved in, Banquet House.  They gather every Thursday to spend time with and feed lunch to a group of homeless people in Kathmandu.  I didn't know how to help or say anything, but here I was with 50-100 Nepali people sitting around me and wanting to do my best to love them well or at least show some interest in them but I didn't know how to say a word.  So I quickly reviewed and began to practice "How are you? …. What is your name?"  

   Then I began going down the row introducing myself and asking the same 2 phrases to each person and smiling and nodding with my best enthusiasm.  I had no hopes of understanding their names at the time, but figured if I just started out, then eventually some of the names would become recognizable and familiar.

   I used those 2 phrases a lot over the next few months.  And did become better at recognizing names and was always proud if I remembered it thru the entire conversation and could repeat it to them as I said goodbye, and show that I valued them and remembered their name.  Then one day, after saying goodbye to an elderly woman by name, my friend Sadhana explained to me that its actually not respectful in their culture to call older people by name.  Its considered respectful to call them simply "Mom" or "Dad".  And still weeks later, sitting around the cooking fire one night, Rabina explained, that its not even respectful to call peers by name, but by 'big brother or little brother or sister' respectively.  So after all these months trying to honor people by remembering their names, I found that it wasn't honoring at all to them, and would have been better if I just forgot all their names.  

   Culture!  What a challenge.  And always so humbling to begin as a new baby in a foreign culture and learn how to communicate and how to love and honor well.  

   In Nepal compared to America, there is a higher value placed on family relationships than friendships.  And there is a higher value placed on the relationship than on the individual.  Hence, after making a friend there, you don't call them by name, you call them brother or sister.  And there is a different title for each individual family member.  For instance, there is not just one word for "aunt".  There is a word for the 'older sister of my mother' or the 'younger sister of my mother' or the 'oldest brother of my father' or 'my father's brother's wife'.  So effectively you can call them by their title as they are related exactly to you, and without using their name, you can know exactly which of 6 aunts you are referring to.  And to call someone you are a little bit close to, friend, is almost slightly offensive, like if I were to refer to a friend in America as an acquaintance.  It would create intentional distance in the relationship.  But instead, in Nepal, you call your friends brother/sister.   

   Honor looks different where values are different.  Its so interesting and challenging to learn to love people, not just in the way that seems best to me, but in the way that they can understand and receive it.

Rabina, me and Sadhana.  Sisters :)

(p.s. I also later found out that the more respectful way to ask "how are you?" is a totally different phrase!    ;)

Sadhana and Rabina's village

    Zoe and I went with our new friend Anabel a hilarious Mexican American who has been volunteering with Iris here in Nepal for the past month or so.  We went with two faith filled Nepali sisters, Sadhana and Rabina, to the villages where they grew up and planted churches and where Sadhana is now raising 4 foster/adopted children.  Their family was some of the first believers in that area and now there are hundreds, and a church in both their communities, these women were revolutionary in so many ways and are pioneers, I am so happy to learn from them and partner with them.  Our time was marked by worship, play, encouragement, declarations of faith and joy, prophetic words and songs and encouraging activating the local believers even more to see the Kingdom come more and more again in their area and nation.

    One day we went to worship and pray over their family's land where they hope to rebuild a house for the kids (the one they are currently using is full and is declared structurally unsound after the earthquake).  They want to build a playground and garden, and home for the kids, a home for elderly, and a training center for discipleship seminars and Bible training.  

    With the help of Sadhana's invitation and translation, we got to minister at a youth service Friday night, which ranges from teenagers to 30s.  Anabel and Zoe shared testimonies encouraging them to go for all that the Lord has for them and to step out in faith and in the Spirit.  Then I led them in some prophetic encouragement games with each other.  It was so fun, they really went for it and were so encouraged.  Then praying with several people afterwards, one woman was healed of pain from her womb where she had been struggling with issues for some time, and her husband and one other person were healed of back pain and they each started praying for each other and for me.  Meanwhile others shared about recently losing a family member and were loved on and ministered to.

     Afterwards we headed up the mountain a small moonlight hike to a home group.  We sat in their upstairs room as the whole room filled with people of all ages and we worshipped together.  And we shared a bit and prophesied over some of the group and then just had a soaking worship time and so enjoyed the presence of God, our friend Raju (who with his wife, Sabina, helps Sadhana staff the kids home) broke into some really freeing spontaneous worship songs.  It was such a sweet time, topped off with milk tea :)

    Free time was usually spent worshipping around the house and making up songs, learning Nepali and pulling the kernels off the corn with awkward hindi soap operas playing in the background, and playing dutch blitz with Aamaa's 6 adopted sons (they are living in 2 rooms above the church since the earthquake, until they have resources to build a new home, and they graciously gave us girls one of the rooms for the few days we stayed with them)  We left them the card game, and left Sadhana a ukulele to learn and keep worshipping and making up songs with.  :) 

   Our first day there, Sadhana took us to pray for some believers who were sick and needed encouragement.  Mahesh and his wife are young and very active believers who help with the youth and raising up disciples.  His elderly mother has been sick with respiratory problems, asthma, and what sounds like COPD for sometime and requiring oxygen at home (which is a very big financial burden in their community and economy), and recently had gotten worse with an infection.  She also is a believe but was soo discouraged and lying in bed seeming quite hopeless and feeling miserable in bed.  We spent quite a long time just praying and worshipping over her in their room and then praying over and encouraging Mahesh and his wife, and then just laughing and enjoying fellowship for a while, and finally she started to brighten up a little bit.  They reported to us a couple days later that she had begun to get better that day and require less and less oxygen and had turned a corner in being encouraged and hopeful.

    My favorite moment of the trip was worshipping and praying over a couple in their roadside cafe.  They were also believers, he had been struggling with low blood pressure issues for over a year.  They were preparing food for the lunch crowd when we came to pray, but he was so encountering the Spirit of God, and all of us, that we just kept worshipping as several people came to look in the doorways of the tiny 3 table cafe/kitchen looking for lunch.  They stayed around listening and watching as we worshipped and then shared some testimonies of miraculous multiplication of food.  And afterward he told us that usually when he tries to pray or worship he has a tightness and heavy spirit that bothers him, but that now he felt so light and free and was able to experience the presence of God.  So sweet!  

    Oh, I almost forgot another favorite moment, the photo below reminded me:  One afternoon a few Hindu friends stopped by to visit after school and we busted out the oil pastels and everyone got creative.  Sita (sitting on the bed with a pink scarf) drew this picture of a flower, and afterwards Zoe and I began to prophecy over her and encourage her based off what God showed us about the picture she had drawn herself.  All about a seed that was already planted in her and the promises of God coming to pass for her... she was soo encouraged, and then told us that she was 4 months pregnant with her first child!  So we got to pray together for her and the baby and she took home her picture with a big smile.

Nepal Update - First week in Kathmandu