Moments from my heart journey. Spontaneous and unrefined revelation.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Village of Peace :)

A few stories and moments from my last few weeks in Pohnpei, Micronesia:

  My team went to stay 2 nights at the Village of Peace last weekend.  A family of Christians there had really been crying out for renewal and encouragement and revival in their community, and invited us to come stay with them.  It was like being at a family reunion, tons of kids running around and playing with us, volleyball, tons of cousins, and food.  They really wanted to honor us, because they felt that the more they honored us, the more they honored God and they wanted every blessing he had for them.  They cooked every meal for us, and played the ukelele and sang while we ate, and the kids came into the house where we were sleeping early in the morning and played and sang songs all day long with us.  They even roasted a pig for us one night, which is a food reserved to show honor for very special occasions here.  The weekend started out with awkward silences between us, but by the end we were all crying and hugging and making plans to visit each other again, and we washed the feet of the representatives of their families and they gave us each a traditional dress.  



 We had worship services in the yard in the evenings and went in small groups to visit houses nearby in the day time.  Each family that we prayed with, asked for more love, either personally or for their family and marriage, and for their community to be unified again with more love.  It was such a sweet time.  Several people were healed of heart conditions, blindness and deafness.  And some delivered as they received prayers for impartation of joy.  And we were all encouraged in the Lord together.  
  A friend shared a testimony of a teenager being raised from the dead in an American hospital in the name of Jesus.  One of the cousins of our friends who were hosting us in the village, had died a few days before and was to have a funeral the next day. That evening some of us felt to go to the morgue to ask the husband if we could pray for his wife to be resurrected.  It was the middle of the night when we arrived, and he was sleeping in his car in the parking lot of the hospital/morgue.  So we got to visit with him, and he apologized saying that he didn't want us to pray for her because she had had so much peace with dying, and had time to make peace with everyone, and he didn't want her to come back to life if she might have a sudden death next time and not have a chance to make peace.  So we honored his request, and my friend gave him a donut (which she had brought to give the woman if she came back to life hungry) and encouraged him to remember to eat.  His eyes got so wide and surprised with this simple act of compassion.  He said, "how did you know I haven't been eating?"  She said, "well, you're grieving, a lot of people don't eat when they are grieving."  It was the most practical and matter of fact, simple gesture of empathy and encouragement.  And it opened the door for us to pray for him, and for his 5 year old son.  And he felt the presence of God so much while we prayed with him that he invited us to come back and share more, he and a drunk friend who was awake in the parking lot.  So we just got to share more of the love of God and invitation to know him more.  Meanwhile the others who had come to pray, went into the emergency room and prayed with people there and saw healing and had amazing God encounters in a woman's hospital room.  It was the craziest faith building middle of the night hospital ministry I've ever been a part of.  And we got so close to our Pohnpeian hosts who were driving with us!  What a crazy Jesus kind of night.  
  
   Growing in obedience-  While we were praying for one man to be healed, I saw in my imagination, Jesus washing his feet.  Which is one of the ways I ask God to speak to me, especially when people need healing, I ask for him to show me what he is doing, so that I can do that to release his kingdom on earth.  But I have been entertaining the enemies ideas that my part in a group is not necessary or significant, and so I ignored the Lord in that moment.  I didn't do what he showed me to do.  So even though we prayed for the man, I knew in my heart that I had been disobedient to the Lord, and really wonder what he wanted to release through that.  So I just repented and asked him to show me any other lies I had been believing that had made room in my heart to disobey in that moment.  Wow, so he also showed me that sometimes I am looking for him to show up in such unusual and different ways, or visions, that I missed him when he was speaking through the simple act of foot washing.  I thought I was just making it up, because its not original, its been done before.  But hello, if it was powerful enough for Jesus to do it, obviously it can be a powerful thing when God is doing it!  And wow, I want to listen to the gentle whisper and recognize that that is my King speaking!  So yeah, I just wanted to share this part of my journey, so that I can share the next story when God redeems it and I learn to be obedient next time, and you will know that it came through a process :)


Arrows, Coal, Spears, Scrolls- I cannot even express the work God has been doing in my heart and the commissioning that is being confirmed here. God is showing me his hand in fulfilling dreams he put in my heart from a young girl, and prophetic words from 7 years ago that are being birthed in my life for such a time as this!
  

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Micronesia - Gospel is Good News!

It is beautiful here, even more than I imagined.  And getting to know many crazy lovers of Jesus. My group has had this weekend to "explore the island"  so we went to some waterfalls and the legendary ruins of this island.  One of the waterfalls, I got to jump off, and it was the highest jump I've ever had, and super fun.

The RUINS: 

     We visited the historical ruins here on Pohnpei  this weekend.  It has a really intense history.  It was an 18 kilometer city that was built about 800ish years ago, by sorcerers.  They used their sorcery to fly in giant stones (too heavy and large to have come on any ship of that time).  To build the city and did human sacrifice, and were a huge stronghold of fear and control in the island.  The filmmakers of Ghosts, came to film an episode there and were killed by demons there.   Jesse and other believers had come to pray and cleanse the land with the blood of Jesus, and its quite peaceful there now.  Now I am reading a book about the spiritual history of Hawaii and other Polynesian Islands, "God of Light, God of Darkness"  by Daniel Kikawa.  And I am soo humbled to discover the way that God has been working all along through the culture and history of peoples that I have never heard of or known.  And to see how good and faithful he is.  And what good news Jesus is.  The freedom of the gospel is incredible.  The love of God is soo good, so powerful.  I am so humbled by the way I am discovering him in the Pohnpeians here.  

The Gospel is Good News:

    This morning I was also really convicted to repent of a lie that I have believed for a long time:  "That the gospel is hard to accept, that its not really that good of news, that people won't usually want to hear it or believe it or have their lives transformed by it".  I am finding that in this time and season in the world, actually that is the rare exception, that people will hear and not respond.  The norm is that they will believe when they hear and see the gospel, because it really is good news!  And Love is really powerful.  That lie has discouraged me and made me hesitant and timid to share in many opportunities.  And I have judged people's hearts that they were hard, when really God was likely already there, calling them to himself.

     This shift in my mindest was confirmed today by a jog down the road and my jogging friend just started up a conversation with the local woman walking on her way to work, and it was so evident in her eyes and countenance that she was hungry for that good news.  And then a friend shared this verse for the school, 
Isaiah 55:5 "You also will command nations you do not know, and peoples unknown to you will come running to obey, because I, the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious."

This weekend:

  My group will be gone hiking for a mountain survival weekend.  The group that went last weekend had amazing stories challenges and of God healing one guy immediately of (what sounded to me like altitude sickness, or severe dehydration and vomiting).  So... we are pretty excited about a slightly shorter, amazing challenging weekend of hiking.  And this morning Jessie and Tanya shared a story with us of them visiting a hard to reach, unreached mountain village in Nepal, and the crazy dangerous bus ride and hike, and then how a woman was healed of the cancer she was dying from and her whole family and doctor became believers in Jesus.  And many other people in those villages.  Jesus is worth the pain, he is worth the risk.  He is beautiful!  He is great news!

One of the Pohnpeian students here with us, broke his finger playing volleyball last week, then another student prayed for him immediately and he was healed and felt something like electricity going through his body.  And of course a lot of heart healing is happening for all of us, because thats what God does...

Praying for more and more of God.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Really love. Not just pretend to love.

God I want to see your Kingdom Come through my life!  Use me.  Release your Kingdom through me.  Wherever you want me to go, for whatever purpose you have.  Use me to bring your Kingdom in the land of the living.  I want to see your Kingdom come.  I want to see people meet their King.  I want to be used for your purposes.  I want to be willing God, to be a sacrifice, to be a sacrifice of love, like you.  I want to love like you.  I want to be so overwhelmed and obsessed by your love and the joy of intimately relating to you, that I am willing to suffer any cost that those in front of me can know you.  I want to see the joy set before me as you see it.  I want to know that joy more, that I would count it all joy to give my life away in the process.  

I want to be willing to give my life away today, not just in the future, in some lofty idealized time or situation.  I want to consider my life today as not my own.  To consider my life as yours.  Already yours.  That it doesn't belong to me.  And if you want to spend it on any one person in front of me, then that is your choice.  My life is yours and you can do whatever you want.  You are my King.  You are the King of my life, the King of my heart.  I don't want to be begrudging of love or stingy with things, or gifts, or time.  I repent of all the so many times that I have been withholding and held back from loving people the way that you meant for me to.  I want to trust you in deeper ways, that I am free to love.  I am free to give and to spend my life, to waste my life on love.  

I want to really love.  Not just pretend to love.


Psalm 103:13-

"The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.  
For he remembers we are only dust.  
Our days are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die.  
The wind blows, and we are gone-- as though we had never been here.  
But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him.  
His salvation extends to the children's children of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments!  
The Lord has made the heavens his throne; from there he rules over everything.  
Praise the Lord, you angels who serve him and do his will!  ( I want to be one who serves you and does your will.  I want to be one who waits for and clings to your very words and notions for direction to act.)
Praise the Lord, everything he has created, everything in all his Kingdom.  
Let all that I am praise the Lord."


God I want to respond not just to your voice, but to the inclinations of your heart.  To the tiniest whisper and the look in your eyes.  I want to be moved by you.  I want to be aware of your Spirit moving in me.  Like the creatures and the wheels, I want to move with your Spirit.  I want to be moved by you.  Where you go, send me, bring me with you God.  I want to be with you, and move with you and do what you do.