i'm not the answer

Its not really about me. Its not about me at all. I'm not it, I'm not the answer for these kids. I'm not the answer for their families, I'm not the answer for the world or for poverty or for poverty of spirit or the answer for any need anyone ever had or will have. I'm not it.

But God is, and Jesus is the way. He is love, all love, all power, all provision. For anyone. For everyone. For any need, for all needs. He is sufficient. He is abundant in life.

I feel today that I live a double life. I am a have, in a world of have nots. I go play with kids all day who have nothing physically and less support spiritually and emotionally... and then I spend the night or the next day doing whatever I want and having whatever I want and resting in peace and safety when I need to... I have everything. I even have hope. And a God who loves me and tells me I'm worth something.

Somehow, this is the cries of my heart tonight. Why God? And How? why is this world so hard, and how do you love? How do you break through with love?

He answers..wait...keep loving... keep letting me love... you aren't the answer. I am. I AM.

Dean and Lola

Doesn't he make a great Dad. (Lola is 13mnths now) Its kind of strange to see the boy I grew up playing armies with be such a great Dad for a little Lola in pink. He makes me proud.
  

Emma's wisdom

After several months of encouragement from James, I went to visit with an 83 year old lady who attends church where I do some outreach stuff, and who lives across the parking lot from some of the wildest neighborhood kids I know right now. Emma Hollaway. What a treasure. She is so articulate and her thinking not a bit old fashioned, but very wise and experienced and still open to learning more about who God is. She had many good tidbits of wisdom to share and I'll share some that I remember:

"Its important to remember that life is a journey, you have to enjoy it along the way. Its important to enjoy it, every moment as you go."

"People are important."

"Practice positive self talk. Say what Jesus says about you, that he loves you and that he lives in you. Christ lives in you. And he's all around you. He will never leave you or forsake you. He will never leave you. He loves you. You have to remind yourself of that often."

"I learned the more about God working in retail sales than I ever did in Bible school or raising my family. Just learned about him through people."

"I enjoy people. All kinds of people. I like almost everybody."

"(with addimate hand gestures) Fears... you've got to go towards them, face them and go towards them, you can't walk away or hide from them, just face them. It talks about that in the Bible, always go forward not looking at whats behind... You can't live in fear. It just paralyzes you. You've just got to press in to it, and go forward"

"when it comes time for me to die, I want to be so close with the Lord that its just like i'm holding his hand now and we just cross over together, my hand in his."


She is precious to share and I look forward to sharing more with you all when I see her again.