So, thanks to our homework of assigned Bible reading at CSSM, I have been rediscovering what its like to talk to God thru scripture. For him to share his heart and for me to respond with mine. And since we all see in part, to encourage each other, here's some of my part: a few days of my journaling conversations over the holiday break:
Philippians 3:7-11
(Andrea’s amplified and personalized from God)
[You once thought these things were valuable (striving, trying to make perfect decisions, trying to support yourself, reaching toward an ever ambiguous standard of ‘perfection’, trying to put yourself in a box that doesn’t fit, trying to fill other people’s needs with your own limited love, all the false comforts you went to instead of intimacy) but now you consider them WORTHLESS because of what Christ has done (loved you perfectly and completely and become your all sufficiency, filling you and all your needs and desires in every way, and died to freely do the same for everyone). Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the INFINITE VALUE OF KNOWING CHRIST JESUS YOUR LORD. For his sake you have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that you could gain Christ, and become one with me. You no longer count on your own righteousness through obeying the law; rather you have become righteous through faith in Christ. For my way of making you all right with me, depends on faith. You want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. You want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another you will experience the resurrection from the dead!]
Philippians 4
Pray, give thanks, be honest with God about what I need, then I will have his peace guarding my heart and mind as I live in Christ. I need that peace all the time. I need to communicate with God all the time, giving thanks and praise and being honest about what I need…. I usually leave out the “supplication” or being honest about what I need, which leads me to also not be having conversation at all, so I’m not giving thanks/praise or covered in peace ….
So God, today, thanks for my job. Thanks that I didn’t have to look for it. And also, I need help to learn to spend less money. And I need a new way to make more money this year. I want to keep trusting you and to live and give generously, you are a generous Daddy. I want a new creative income, but I have no idea how to do that. So I need some help with that, I need wisdom. Also, I am learning that you like to play with me, and you like to put me around other people to play with an audience. So I am glad to have a job to play with an audience, you teach me so much. I want to be really teachable. Also I need wisdom about nursing again. You know I have mixed feelings about it. It seems good when I’m not doing it, or need to make some money, then I feel cramped and crazy resistance once I’m in it, so if my exchange is not over about that, help me out. You are full of ridiculous wisdom and brilliant provision! More than enough for every good work! And you speak to me because you made me your kid, and you like to be a near shepherd. So I listen, because you give me a soft heart and a flexible neck to bend toward you. Thank you God. Speak, I am listening.
Colossians 1:7-10
All from relationship. When Paul and Timothy heard about the love for each other and for others that the Holy Spirit had given them, they began to pray for them constantly for ‘complete knowledge of God’s will, and spiritual wisdom and understanding. That their lives would always honor God and produce every kind of good fruit.’ They knew that if Holy Spirit was giving them passion to love people, they would need wisdom and understanding so that their lives would honor God and produce good fruit from that passion. I feel like someone must have been praying this for me for so long, maybe Holy Spirit has been. Even these last few days, it seems like God is giving me specific direction in career and finances to position myself to be ready to go overseas and be involved with medical mission and children and their mothers and families in the dirt. He has brought me to a new place of personal freedom that I can receive his wisdom and will, that I can put to action in my life, honoring God and producing all the good fruit that he has intended for me. Holy Spirit is helping to put action to the passion and love that he put in me.
1:28 -29 “We want to present them to God perfect/mature in their relationship to Christ. That is why I struggle so hard, depending on Christ’s mighty power that works within me.” -This is what the process of labor looks like: struggle so hard, depending on Christ’s mighty power at work within. (I got to be around for my friend’s 24hrs of labor and home birth. It had a profound impact on my spirit, the supernatural process God designed and initiates) It is intense work for the mother in labor, but she is not in control of the work, it is involuntary processes and muscle contractions. She is fully dependent on the design and process God has made for birth and life to happen, but she participates intensely in the process.
