Really love. Not just pretend to love.

God I want to see your Kingdom Come through my life!  Use me.  Release your Kingdom through me.  Wherever you want me to go, for whatever purpose you have.  Use me to bring your Kingdom in the land of the living.  I want to see your Kingdom come.  I want to see people meet their King.  I want to be used for your purposes.  I want to be willing God, to be a sacrifice, to be a sacrifice of love, like you.  I want to love like you.  I want to be so overwhelmed and obsessed by your love and the joy of intimately relating to you, that I am willing to suffer any cost that those in front of me can know you.  I want to see the joy set before me as you see it.  I want to know that joy more, that I would count it all joy to give my life away in the process.  

I want to be willing to give my life away today, not just in the future, in some lofty idealized time or situation.  I want to consider my life today as not my own.  To consider my life as yours.  Already yours.  That it doesn't belong to me.  And if you want to spend it on any one person in front of me, then that is your choice.  My life is yours and you can do whatever you want.  You are my King.  You are the King of my life, the King of my heart.  I don't want to be begrudging of love or stingy with things, or gifts, or time.  I repent of all the so many times that I have been withholding and held back from loving people the way that you meant for me to.  I want to trust you in deeper ways, that I am free to love.  I am free to give and to spend my life, to waste my life on love.  

I want to really love.  Not just pretend to love.

Psalm 103:13-

"The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.  

For he remembers we are only dust.  

Our days are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die.  

The wind blows, and we are gone-- as though we had never been here.  

But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him.  

His salvation extends to the children's children of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments!  

The Lord has made the heavens his throne; from there he rules over everything.  

Praise the Lord, you angels who serve him and do his will!  ( I want to be one who serves you and does your will.  I want to be one who waits for and clings to your very words and notions for direction to act.)

Praise the Lord, everything he has created, everything in all his Kingdom.  

Let all that I am praise the Lord."

God I want to respond not just to your voice, but to the inclinations of your heart.  To the tiniest whisper and the look in your eyes.  I want to be moved by you.  I want to be aware of your Spirit moving in me.  Like the creatures and the wheels, I want to move with your Spirit.  I want to be moved by you.  Where you go, send me, bring me with you God.  I want to be with you, and move with you and do what you do.